Friday, October 1, 2010


I have nothing left to give.
Like beyond empty.
I just can't do this.

Every day.
These have been my thoughts.
My reality.

Today I sat there.


Trying to ignore the day that seemed like it was going to be filled with me coming up short.  Again.

And in the moment, His voice was clear.
Not loud.  But clear.

At first I almost didn't listen.

I was scared.

Scared He would say I was a failure.

Scared He would say I needed to work harderDig a little deeper...  Or some other "helpful" statement that seemed like I should be able to do and yet continued to fail at EVERY freaking day.

I was scared He'd show me just how far away from Him I'd gone and let me know this served me right.

He didn't.

He asked a question.

Why don't you just give me what little you do have?  How about that?

[insert tears here.]


I managed to forget Who I was dealing with.  I managed to label God with all the worst reactions I'd seen in flawed people who were probably trying their best at the time.

But that?

 I can do that.

And as best I can remember He has a reputation for being able to do a heck of a lot with that.

No wonder this is good news.