Voice

I lost my voice.
Not my physical voice, but the who-I-am voice.
Because I wanted to be everything to everyone.

And I failed.

It was bound to happen.

And you know what?  I think that's okay.  Actually, I know it is.

And these past few days while my kids have been gone, I've been listening.  Listening to the One who has always loved me.  Listening to the prompter of dreams.  And figuring out how to be me.  This could prove to be interesting.


A few snapshots with my favorite little ones of all time.  And yes, my little man was trying to put the lens cap on my camera for me.

Dreams. And the people who entertain them

I'm pretty sure I was on the verge of wetting my pants as I typed in the numbers.
Palms sweaty?  Check.
Stomach doing back-flips?  Check.
High possibility of voice cracking like I was in the middle of puberty due to extreme amounts of nervousness?  Check.

Two days before, I knew.  I woke up and I just knew that I was supposed to be a wedding and lifetsyle photographer.  I giggled.  And I was giddy.  And I had no idea on how to get from "here" (where I was) to "there".  But I figured it actually involved taking pictures of people.
And then it dawned on me.  My brother-in-law and future sister-in-law are gorgeous.  And engaged.  And I could call them and ask them to let me take some pictures.
It's just actually admitting my crazy dream to anyone operating in the rest of the world made my insides quiver.
Details...
So, I called her.  And I told her.  And I'm pretty sure I managed to start five sentences I never finished because that's what I do when I'm excited and nervous.
And what did she say?
Yes.  They'd love to.  And they weren't going to get a back-up photographer for their engagement pics.

I'm not sure if I ever told them, but I cried when I got off the phone with them.  Because for some reason, they were gracious enough to believe in me.  Even when I hadn't given them a reason to.  They were willing to jump into the madness of my dreams and give me courage.  The love and support they showed me and have continued to show me during this entire year of pursuing this dream still brings tears to my eyes.
And I'm forever grateful for that.

Since that first photo shoot I've learned a lot.  And I've got a better camera and lens.  And I'm not quite so afraid to be me.  So we did an update.  Because basically I'll take any excuse to hang out with them.  They are just that wonderful.

Now you can see why...

Oh how I love this...

Kristen, you are fierce.  And GORGEOUS.

This makes me SOOOOOO happy.  You two could not be more precious.  And yes, Chad, I totally just called you precious on the internet.  My apologies.

I just squealed.

Kristen.  Holy. cow.

Chad, you totally rock.  You seriously brought it.

Could not resist...  Long story, but they will appreciate it.

When Chad proposed, he had placed a fortune cookie inside of this box.  The fortune (right in front of it) reads "Kristen, will you marry me."  Yeah, he's got mad skills.

I love you two beyond measure.  And we could not be more excited to see the two of you declare your love in front of family and friends and officially start your life together.  Your love for each other is beautiful.  And inspiring.  And we could not be more blessed to have the two of you in our lives.  We love you.  We can't wait for next month!!!!!

Baby Blythe

Surprises. 
Life is full of them. 
And though most of us never would have planned that way, we oftentimes look back and think how wonderful it was. 
Their plans?  Adopt.  They had always wanted to.  (Which makes me SOOOOOO happy) 
What happened?  This beautiful lady.  (Which also makes me happy)
And though at first, it seemed like a crazy turn in life, they wouldn't have it any other way.  And they are still looking forward to the day when they adopt and this little lady adds some precious siblings.

Currey and JJ, oh my goodness.  You two rock.  We are beyond thankful for you guys.  Watching the way you love people, the way you care for the overlooked and the way you live is simply beautiful.  (Although I sounded slightly stalkerish as well...)  Thank you.  Thank you for the words you bring into our lives.  For the way you show us even better who God is.  And for the fact that you are absolutely committed to adoption.  I'm such a fan.
And Mr. and Mrs. Jones?  You two are incredible.  It was a privilege to meet you.  And as I'm sure you already know - you have SUCH a wonderful daughter.  (And granddaughter, but judging from these pictures, you definitely know that)

So here's a little snap shot of my time with them.  And let me tell you now, they totally brought the cute.  Big time.

Oh JJ, you are SO beautiful

One of my favorite families ever.

Precious little girl, your daddy LOVES you.

Oh how I love this

Some behind the scenes action.  Tutus require help.

Laura and her adorable kids...

I walked away smiling.
Because I had spent the past hour or so really living.
Laughing.
Dancing.
Hearing great knock-knock jokes.
Singing.
Playing tag.
And seeing a family deeply love each other.
And I loved every last second.

Laura, there are not words to put around what a wonderful mom you are.  It shows.  It shows in the creativity of your precious kids.  In their laughter.  In the joy that they would never think of hiding.  I loved every last second of our time together.  And you kids?  Oh my goodness.  You three are amazing.  And hilarious.  And so beautiful.  (and handsome, of course)  Thank you for sharing your Friday night with me.  And your family.  And for being willing to race, play tag and tell knock-knock jokes on command.  You all rock.


Laura, you are SOOOOOOO beautiful.  And your kids?  Oh. my. word.

 I absolutely LOVE this picture