Good Friday...on Saturday

I couldn't finish the song.
At all.
I was trying so hard. And yet, my emotions caused that chain effect tightening of my vocal chords and I moved past the point of whispered singing to not being able to form words.
And as I sat at that stoplight, wiping my eyes as my Hannah asked what was wrong...for a moment I was embarassed.
I was supposed to be just practicing. Every year my church has me sing, "Were You There" at the end of our Good Friday service. And seeing as it was Good Friday, I figured I better do a review and really spend time reconnecting with the song.
But something happened when I got to the line, "were you there when they laid Him in the tomb?" And I was a hot mess. An embarrassed hot mess to be exact.
My mind rolled out in classic ADD fashion with a grandiose, thought-palooza.
And then it hit me.
They might have been embarrassed, too.
For years, they had banked their lives on this Man. They thought He was it. He was supposed to be the Messiah. And there they stood watching the Man they had put their hope in - hanging on a cross and quite obviously dead. This was not the way the story should go...
His mom stood there - most likely realizing people around her were looking - questioning if she had made up the whole story of His birth to cover up a scandal.
The disciples must have known that people were laughing at them. They had wasted their lives on just another guy and now it was revealed - they were duped.
And so many others. Possibly rethinking what they'd left or given up to follow Him.
And I imagine they had twinges of embarrassment.
Or maybe heaps of it.
After all, I forget all the time, it looked hopeless.
They were not expecting Sunday. They were heart broken. They were questioning everything. They were reliving it all wondering where they went wrong - or if they did. They were heartbroken to lose their friend. They thought the stories were over. They thought that was their last conversation. They wondered if He really knew how they felt about Him...especially because it all happened so fast.

To the world, they looked like idiots. For 2 days. Not just a minute, not just a couple of hours. For 2 whole days. Following Him looked like it had backfired in a major way.

Sunday is a much bigger deal than I had realized...