Friday, July 9, 2010

The past few days...

Today I sit with tears.
Of the happy persuasion...
Six years ago I repeated words committing myself to love and cherish the most wonderful man.  I spoke words devoting myself to give all that I have to loving him through sickness and health while we both exchanged giggles over his newly broken foot that was propped up as I stood pledging myself to him.  And he said them back.
The past five days have been filled with pain.  What we (doctor and myself) think is a viral infection has left me in tears from pain, inflamed joints and temperatures that seem to indicate my body is indeed bi-polar.  I have been grumpy.  I have lived on our couches and our bed.  I have cried because I just didn't think I could do it anymore.  And I have been little to no help with the children.
And my husband?
He never once complained. 
He held my hand.
When he'd already walked me through four days of this and just really wanted to lay down and watch a movie and enjoy some chips and salsa at the end of YET another VERY long day, he got up and rubbed my legs to try to bring my pain level down.
He has hugged and loved our kids ten-fold to make up for what I can't do.
And when I go on apologize for the 1,000,000th time, he kindly tells me to quit. And not to worry.  And that he loves me.
Ted Paulson, you are amazing.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for listening to my fears that I had cancer, for laughing at my early morning close attempt at fainting so that I wouldn't lose it, for driving me to the doctor when you could have squeezed in more hours of much needed catch up time at work, for making dinner EVERY night this week and for pretending that you were fine when you weren't so that I wouldn't go through my whole guilt trip.  I love you.  I am in awe of your tenderness.  In awe of your kindness.  And your sacrifice.  Thank you for loving me.  For coming through on your promises when anyone would understand it was easier to just ignore them.
I love you.

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