Tonight

Tonight I sit.
I stop.
And it hits.
The fear.
The unknown.
The "this could go a lot of different directions."
And I wipe away tears.
And I write that email.  To that friend.  The one that knows what it's like to walk through these moments.  These uncertain, the road is messy and I can't even begin to see moments.
And just thinking of her brings comfort.
And so I allow my heart to feel. 
I sit and let feelings actually wash over instead of sweeping them off to the side and "trucking" on.
Because I'm tired of pretending.
And avoiding seems to get me a whole bunch of nowhere in life.
So I sit, and I admit I'm scared. 
I tell Him.
I go there.
And it's scary. 
But it seems like a worthwhile venture.