Sunday, March 7, 2010

I miss them

The past two days have been surreal. Two days ago, a teary-eyed girl boarded a plane with a heart longing to be with her kids, dreams she wanted to question and no concept of what to expect.
Hours before, I looked over at Ted from the passenger seat of our "new to us" car and sighed. He knew. He told me I could do this. I looked at him and asked, "Are you sure I can do this?" He firmly said I could and I would.
I cried tears of pain, joy, fear and everything else in between. If I was wrong about my dream, this was one seriously expensive mistake.
My husband and kids are eating extremely cheap meals. I'm trying to live off the bagels I brought with me and any free food I happen to come across. Because we don't have the funds for me to be here. But we know for some reason I'm supposed to be.
I write this tonight unsure of the future. My heart aches as I think of the ways my family is sacrificing for me to be here. And truth be told, I'm scared. And yet, I think I'm supposed to be here. I think I'm really going to make it. I don't know why, but I feel like I will come out having a successful business and my hope is a business that matters. One that sees how beautiful people are and captures images that leave no question. One that tells stories of the overlooked. One that makes a difference.
I don't know how to get there. But I hope I'm on my way.
Here's to learning. Here's to dreaming. And here's to facing your fears.

1 comment:

  1. We're proud of you Amy! This is a step that you had to take. Keep raising your game. The world needs your gift.