Tuesday, March 23, 2010

It's hard - that's all

Tonight I was going to post a "sweet little ditty" about cleaning my house. It was cute. But that's all it was.
The truth is, in this moment, I just want to cry. The past few days have been rough.
Right now my mind is flooded with all the things I need to do. All the emails to write, the floors to clean, the pictures to post, that husband I want to spend time with, the website to design and I want to crawl in a hole until I can possibly figure out how to do this business while being a wife and mom and currently unable to afford a babysitter to come and help out a couple of times a week.
Hello, world. I'm a mess.
But I swear this is what I'm supposed to do. And this is loving my family and a photography business. But tonight the process brings tears.
There should be some wrapped up, hopeful thing to insert here. But that would be annoying of me. So...world. It hurts. It's hard. And somehow I know God is in this and He'll show me where to put my foot. But right now, when it hurts, I may cry. So there...

3 comments:

  1. Hey Amy,
    Just wanted to say "I hear ya." Being a wife and mom are all consuming tasks! Add in there starting a business or working outside the home and, whew, it can make us crazy! I had my melt down in the car on the way to work this morning. But when we know we are called to do whatever our "this" is, then we wipe our faces, blow our noses and keep pressing on. So let the tears come as they will but don't give up! God's got you.

    -Lacy

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  2. I googled ADD mom and found your site :) This post is SO me about 4 months ago. I decided to take a "photo business" hiatus and just enjoy my kids, learn more about photography at a fun pace and wait to see what God had planned. Very hard for me, since I'm not a "waiter" by nature. So far, its great, I'm happy, enjoying the little things, finding my groove and excitedly anticipating Gods plan in His time. Dont know why I felt like sharing, I can just relate all too well to your post :)

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  3. Amy-Not that it is much comfort, but I think that is a similar struggle for most working moms especially during a transition. Take a day to yourself, head to a coffee shop and write your plan. Whatever it is, set some time lines to it and try it. If it doesn't work try something new. And remember (easier said than done) the laundry can wait and the floors can be dirty, but you don't get extra days to hug your husband and your babies.

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